| CHANGING A CRAPPY NAPPY |
- First, check to see if you are wasting your time, peek inside your little monster's nappy to see if he/she has shat itself.
- Place the kid on a changing mat and remove it's lower garms, making sure jumpers and vests are pulled up to it's chest.
- Undo the soiled nappy and brace yourself. Do not inhale.
- Lift the baby's feet clear and get yourself a wipe. If they are still churning it out let them finish, remembering not to let go of the legs as there's nothing worse than a baby with shit on his feet.
- Clean round it's bum wiping from front to back, keeping the old nappy in place as most babies will start indiscriminately peeing everywhere. (You need quick reactions to avoid being pissed on.)
- Remove the dirty nappy and place the offending item in a perfumed sack. Fit the new one as quickly as you can, naked babies make lots of noise.
- Dress the kid and, voila, one happy little person. Give it hour and you'll need to do it again.
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT
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