It was dark outside when Donald answere the door. She had said she would be there at 6 o clock but now it was more like 9.00. She was on all fours and barking like a dog and asked if she could be taken for walkies

For a moment he thought she might be the woman of his dreams. But she didn't seem quite as psychotic as most of the people he'd met latelty so he decided she wasn't the woman of his dreams.

Donald made a living nowadays as a accountant and in his spare time he liked to dabble with drug dealing

.............

She spent days trailing around after him, collecting video footage for her net site and listening to stories about the time Shiela Tequilla and he had "been too much for Naples".

The pantomime developed loosely around the tale of Cinderella. Donald was Donald, the Prince was a fuckwit, the Sista a fat ugly chav and Buttons a loser

It all went well until the night of the performance, when, after drinking the free vodka, Donald has nicked from the local Spa supermarket

She decided to give him a blow job on stage! Unfortunately, she didn't realise he was wearing a cockring and knocked all her teeth out!

and the hotel fire alarm went off at 5.00am in the morning. They all looked dog rough, except for Donald who had matching blue cotton Pyjamas.

They never found out "who done it" but frankly my dear, who gives a fuck?