It was dark outside when Donald answere the door. She had said she would be there at 6 o clock but now it was more like 9.00. She was very hot and bothered and asked if she could have a quick rub down with a cold flannel

For a moment he thought she might be a multiple murderess/bathroom products saleswoman. But she didn't seem quite as psychotic as most of the people he'd met latelty so he invited her in and bolted the door behind her/showed her to the bathroom.

Donald made a living nowadays as a plumber

.............

She spent days trailing around after him, collecting video footage for her net site and listening to stories about the time Shiela Tequilla and he had "been too much for Naples".

The pantomime developed loosely around the tale of Cinderella. Donald was Donald, the Prince was a traffic warden, the Sista a scrubber and Buttons a lost shoe

It all went well until the night of the performance, when, after drinking the free vodka, Donald threw up on stage

She ignited her breath with a cigarette lighter

and the hotel fire alarm went off at 5.00am in the morning. They all looked dog rough, except for Donald who had matching blue cotton Pyjamas.

They never found out "who done it" but they all g