It was dark outside when Donald answere the door. She had said she would be there at 6 o clock but now it was more like 9.00. She was an off duty blimp pilot and asked if she could borrow his zippo

For a moment he thought she might be simply mistaken. But she didn't seem quite as psychotic as most of the people he'd met latelty so he lent her a nosey for the parking meter.

Donald made a living nowadays as a part-time wig inspector

.............

She spent days trailing around after him, collecting video footage for her net site and listening to stories about the time Shiela Tequilla and he had "been too much for Naples".

The pantomime developed loosely around the tale of Cinderella. Donald was Donald, the Prince was a fruitcake, the Sista a stripper and Buttons a bit undone

It all went well until the night of the performance, when, after drinking the free vodka, Donald tripped over his quiff,

She fell in love with the head of department

and the hotel fire alarm went off at 5.00am in the morning. They all looked dog rough, except for Donald who had matching blue cotton Pyjamas.

They never found out "who done it" but grew a third buttock instead