It was dark outside when Donald answere the door. She had said she would be there at 6 o clock but now it was more like 9.00. She was gasping for a fag and asked if she could get to know him inside out

For a moment he thought she might be a blessing in disguise. But she didn't seem quite as psychotic as most of the people he'd met latelty so he stripped himself down and strung himself up.

Donald made a living nowadays as a hand warmer

.............

She spent days trailing around after him, collecting video footage for her net site and listening to stories about the time Shiela Tequilla and he had "been too much for Naples".

The pantomime developed loosely around the tale of Cinderella. Donald was Donald, the Prince was a joy to behold, the Sista a nightmare and Buttons a bag of sweeties

It all went well until the night of the performance, when, after drinking the free vodka, Donald forgot his lines, his morals and his role in life

She bit the bullet, smashed the glass

and the hotel fire alarm went off at 5.00am in the morning. They all looked dog rough, except for Donald who had matching blue cotton Pyjamas.

They never found out "who done it" but it's a cuir world