It was dark outside when Donald answere the door. She had said she would be there at 6 o clock but now it was more like 9.00. She was feeling very sick and asked if she could use a receptacle to puke into

For a moment he thought she might be using the imminent vomit as a way of achieving intimacy without formality.. But she didn't seem quite as psychotic as most of the people he'd met latelty so he allowed her to be sick in his favourite plastic bowl, on the condition that he could watch. He always found watching other people being sick made him laugh uncontrollably. This didn't seem to bother her, if anything he thought she enjoyed it..

Donald made a living nowadays as a cleaner.

.............

She spent days trailing around after him, collecting video footage for her net site and listening to stories about the time Shiela Tequilla and he had "been too much for Naples".

The pantomime developed loosely around the tale of Cinderella. Donald was Donald, the Prince was a imposter, the Sista a simpering moron and Buttons a kind of butch Felicity Kendall

It all went well until the night of the performance, when, after drinking the free vodka, Donald got so drunk that he got up in the middle of the night and shat on the Minibar thinking, presumably, that it was a toiler

She thought the act had carried out by an intruder and in her panic, set fire to the bed spread with the matches she had been using to examine the still warm turd,

and the hotel fire alarm went off at 5.00am in the morning. They all looked dog rough, except for Donald who had matching blue cotton Pyjamas.

They never found out "who done it" but she and Donald did indeed "fast track" into a relationship of such physical intensity that already fragile sense of identity imploded so completely that for intents and purposes they were one.