It was dark outside when Donald answere the door. She had said she would be there at 6 o clock but now it was more like 9.00. She was a pantomime dame / an ugly prince and asked if she could give him a bed bath/cut his hair

For a moment he thought she might be a govournment official/a long forgotton friend. But she didn't seem quite as psychotic as most of the people he'd met latelty so he ran around the house naked.

Donald made a living nowadays as a cuckoo clock service engineer/pantomime horse

.............

She spent days trailing around after him, collecting video footage for her net site and listening to stories about the time Shiela Tequilla and he had "been too much for Naples".

The pantomime developed loosely around the tale of Cinderella. Donald was Donald, the Prince was a police sergeant, the Sista a transvestite and Buttons a camp politician

It all went well until the night of the performance, when, after drinking the free vodka, Donald climbed naked up big ben

She refused to get down until Rolf Harris asked her

and the hotel fire alarm went off at 5.00am in the morning. They all looked dog rough, except for Donald who had matching blue cotton Pyjamas.

They never found out "who done it" but they all went for breakfast at the local greasy spoon