|THE STORY OF GOD
God created a fault in the reasoning of human kind which made it impossible for human beings to meaningfully articulate his true nature. This meant that humans could only discuss the actions of God and from thence speculate as to what his motives might be.
At the beginning of time the earth was populated by creatures called Hermaphrodites. They were spherical with four arms and four legs protruding from the sphere and had two faces facing away from each other and a four lobed brain. They had two sets of genitalia , one male and one female on either side and a single rectum the orifice of which was at the base of the sphere at the junction of the four legs. They transported themselves by tumbling omni-directional cartwheels. As they had no means of orienting themselves in the way bi-peds and quadrupeds naturally do they tended to retrace the same ground again and again.
The hermaphrodites were distributed evenly over the surface of the earth and rarely got the chance to procreate.
God took pity on the creatures at the point where there numbers diminished to one. He split the creature into two and drew the exposed skin to a central point where the human navel is now situated, the face and the genitalia were turned to the front creating two separate but compatible creatures with a two lobed brain, two arms, two legs and a single face and set of genitalia.