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BOND

I hadn't been concentrating during M's brief so I'm not too sure how to work the poison dart gun or the sleeping spray. Indeed- I'm not even sure if the darts are in the lapel and the sleeping spray is in the wrist watch or visa versa. Neither am I sure whether I brought the anti-gravity shoes on this mission . They would certainly be useful to me now that the platform I'm standing on is receding into the wall and would help to keep me out of that shark pool. The sight of me hovering over the water and disappearing out through one of the air vents of the underground, island headquarters would surprise the hell out Donald Pleasance and would give his white cat the shits for sure. I would have used those shoes more if hovering about wasn't so conspicuous. In the end, I suppose, style is in large part a question of timing. I've decided that if I get out of this one I'm going to take up Moneypenny's suggestion and reassess my attitude towards women. These one nighters are great fun but I might want to settle down with a nice girl- possibly Diana Rigg. I think I picked up those attitudes at school and in the army- both exclusively male environments which reinforce the virgin/whore stereotypes. The anti-gravity shoes are either not working or are still in the wardrobe in the hotel in Barbados. I've tried clicking my heels together, like Judy Garland in the Wizard of Oz, but they don't seem to be responding. However, I've just remembered that I have a compressed air canister in my right hand tux' pocket. I'll shove it down the sharks throat and it should go up like a balloon. That should scare the hell out of that bloody cat. Then I'll swim through the underwater tunnel, before the cage doors slide shut, and out into the lagoon. With any luck B.B. will be waiting for me. She's a nice enough girl but she doesn't have a lot to say for herself. She's also very fond of cats actually. There is a side to her that many people don't appreciate- they go for that "sex siren" thing and can't see beneath the surface and into

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