Of a young couple sat at a table talking.
The man is wearing a yellow shirt with a red t-shirt underneath, he has a blue eye mask pushed back on the top of his head. The woman is wearing a red jacket with a yellow t-shirt underneath, and she has a red head scarf on. Her face is very pale and her hair is wildly curly.
ALEX : Shit I just remembered......I had this really crazy dream last night, it was really incredible, really realistic.
POLLY : Oh yeah.
ALEX : Yeah, I was at the opening of some sort of event, I was there with Lisa and we were walking around. There was a group of people standing in the centre of the room, and as we approached the group I recognised you.
POLLY : Me ? I was there ?
ALEX : Yeah, it was you, and you were wearing this long black dress which left your arms and back uncovered. But it was strange, I noticed that one arm had a normal colour, while your back and the other arm were really suntanned. And also the shape of the line between the two colours was this sort of curved line. Then I noticed there were actually two girls in the same dress, and they were doing this sort of demonstration with an apple. I couldn't really concentrate on the demonstration because I was too busy looking at the other girl, I recognised her as well. That was you, I was really sure, so I looked back at the first girl, and that was you too. I was really stunned for a few moments as I moved my head between two of you. They were identical. It seems weird but I didn't think it was, it seemed like there was an explanation, so it was O.K. What do you think it means ?
POLLY : I'm not sure, I think it's something to do with not been able to express how you feel and not knowing what you want .
ALEX : How do you mean ?
POLLY : Well, I think basically you'd like me to be a different person. I think that in your head when you're alone and I'm not there, you have these fantasies about me, and although it seems like me in the fantasy, I mean it looks like me and everything, in actual fact it's not me. You're just projecting an image of how you want me to be.
The man is staring at her in amazement, she talks very fast.
.......When you actually meet me, in real life, you're always disappointed because you never feel the same attraction as you do in your imagined interactions with me. However, these fantasies are so strong and believable that you have to keep seeing me. I also think that the apple was quite symbolic.
ALEX : What are you going on about ?
POLLY : You're the ultimate optimist, living in the hope that I will one day be like your fantasy image. The girl of your dreams. I think that this dream just illustrated your dilemma.
ALEX : No. no, no......
POLLY : Yeah, subconsciously you are aware that these two versions of me exist. They look the same from the outside, but they are not the same person. One is the real me, and one is this delicious mysterious woman, the fictional me.
ALEX : I'm not so sure about all that, your reading too much into it.
POLLY : It's true. Why is it though, that these romantic ideals never cease to have their influence on us ?
It's always the same. In our imaginations we get exited, but real life never lives up to it. Why does my stomach flip when I see a touching love scene on the screen, and not move a muscle when I see a couple kiss in the street, or even when I kiss someone myself in real life ? Why is it that our imagined love scenes make us more exited than our real ones ? Why does the memory of a person often transcend them in actuality ?
ALEX : Shit, I only told you a dream, it's just a dream, and you're getting all philosophical. Your brains working overtime. Everyone's pretty much the same, it's not just you. Everyone has the idea that love is a force greater than human comprehension, that it will sweep us up and we won't be able to fight it. We are all waiting for this big love. We want love to be, true love, a love to die for, our greatest ambition, intense and passionate..............and basically it never happens.......
POLLY : It does when you're by yourself............
At another table a woman is sat alone reading a book.
She smokes a cigarette and allows the smoke to seep out of her mouth and enter her nose as she breathes in.
In between smoking she pops small iced biscuits into her mouth. The biscuits are all different colour and are spread on the table in lines according to their colour.
Of her book ; A Practical Guide to Self Hypnosis.
We hear her thoughts out loud as she reads the same paragraph over and over.
WOMAN : (off) An effective method of inducing hypnosis is with the aid of a hypnospiral. The spinning spiral will cause a series of optical illusions, causing immediate eye strain and fatigue. The subjects feels like they are been drawn into a deep, dark revolving cone. The use of the disc is also an excellent method for self hypnosis. You will note the optical illusions as they occur, and the pleasant, relaxing feeling that accompanies these illusions.......In conveying suggestions to the subconscious we have found that picture images are effective, imagine yourself endowed with the characteristics of some confident person you know. The qualities you seek may even be derived from imagining a famous person.If this isn't possible, make up a personality which is a composite of all the things you want to be. As you implant these images, they will become a natural part of your conscious personality.......
As the woman reads the book we see a man at another table staring at the spiral table cloth, his eyes moving in a circular motion.
PETE and SALLY on the table next to the woman.
Of the table top. SALLY has been nervously picking at the paper table cloth and has created hundreds of tiny paper shapes.
She is holding her pocket mirror up to her face and applying lipstick.
We see her reflection in the mirror. Her face is heavily made up with tan foundation, and eye make up which exaggerates her eyes. She has love bite marks on her neck.
PETE is reading the cover of the woman's book. He nudges SALLY and points.
SALLY'S lipstick misses her lips and makes a mark which gives her a half grin. She tuts and rolls her eyes before looking over in the direction which PETE is pointing.
They both laugh.
SALLY : Weird.
PETE : It's fuckin' weird when people get into that stuff. This is a fuckin' weird place, weirdo fuckin' people if you ask me. Have yer seen that bloke on telly who makes people do what he tells Œem through his mind.....telep......thesie it's called. Fuckin' barmy ! He can make himself disappear and appear in weird places. He can become invisible..............That'd be good wouldn'it, you could nick loads a gear then. He looks a right puff though. He wears this white suit, and has this real puffy 'air cut, and massive eyes. I reckon 'es defo a woofter.
SALLY : No he's not.
PETE : What do you mean, no he's not, what makes you the fuckin' expert 'ere then ?
SALLY : He's not a puff.
PETE : What ? So you know 'im do yer. He's a personal fuckin' friend of yours is he ?
SALLY : No, but I know 'es not a puff, cos he goes out with that model .
PETE : How the fuck do you know ?
SALLY : Cos I just do, that's why, I saw a picture of them. They met when he read her mind at one of his shows. He called her up on the stage, and after he read her mind, he realised he fancied her.
PETE : Nah, that's crap. I still say he's a pufter, you could tell a mile away. I know an arse bandit when I see one. I say he's rammed more blokes than you've had hot dinners.
SALLY : Am telling yer he's not a pufter, they're engaged......I saw some pictures of them in their wedding gear.
PETE : Why the fuck were they in their wedding gear if they were only getting engaged....Go on, answer that one smart fucking arse, know it all.
SALLY : It was just a trial or something. She'd got this big dress as a freebie from one of her mates who makes dresses and she was showing it off to all her other mates, something like that.............But I did read somewhere that she might still be under hypnosis..........it's like he could of made her fancy him, you know, when he hypnotised her.
PETE : He'd fucking have to hypnotise her to make her fancy him, that's the only way he could get any bird to fancy him.......being a puff and all that.
SALLY : But they are engaged, am telling yer.
PETE : Engaged my arse.......one day the poor cow 'll wake up out of her trance, take one look at that wufter, and run a fucking mile.
SALLY : No she won't.........
PETE : Shut yer face yer know it all, go order the beers.
SALLY takes her mirror, and opens it to adjust her lipstick.
Of the reflection in the mirror. A red sofa at the side of the room with three women sat doing bizarre magis tricks with a banana and drinking. They are all wearing glasses with the eyes drawn onto the lenses, which makes them look strangely alike. They are all called MARY, which they have written on their leotards. They do various tricks in slow motion.
As the camera pans away from them we see close ups of various posters advertising general aids to psychic development.
Of his eyes as he follows the spiral. His head remains motionless and only his eyes revolve.
He rubs his head and lots of big flakes of dandruff appear on the table cloth. He looks fascinated by this and rubs some more. Suddenly a middle aged woman appears at his table, he looks up and smiles, (we see now that it's DAVE from the Dry Cleaners shop). The woman blows the table and the dandruff moves into the middle of the table and falls into the red rimmed hole in its centre. She goes to sit down.
DAVE (In his Yorkshire accent) : Hiya Janet, how are you luv ?
JANET : I'm fine, how are you Dave ? Do you mind if I sit down here?
DAVE : No, that'd be great Jan, that'd be luvly, a need some company.P> The camera moves again and focuses on two women sat together on another table. Their faces are quite close together as they look at something. One of the women has a photo of the two of them. In the photo they have their hair in two small buns one at each side of their heads.
They start to play SNAP with the photo's. They laugh as they say who they think they look like.
EMMA : (Laughs) I've got Joan Crawford and a children's presenter on acid
TRICIA : I've got Bjork and a leprechaun in a yellow shirt
EMMA: I'll raise you one German Hausefrau and Anita Harris
TRICIA : I've got a German Hausefrau and Anita Harris..... (Bangs her hand on the table)
EMMA : No, no you didn't say SNAP !
TRICIA : I'll see you and I'll raise you !
EMMA : Twist...whist....you gin rummey bean.....
As the camera pans the room we see various people lounging on brightly coloured chairs. Other people are looking at the art works, or stood around talking and drinking.
The camera rests again on DAVE and JANET'S table. They are both engrossed in conversation.
DAVE : (In a Yorkshire accent) Oh......Janet.........remember the video, it were great, there were that blind lass who moulded Lionel's face, didn't she, remember, want it his girlfriend in real life, I remember someone said it were, somert about him having a blind bird, I think, somert like that. Or was that Stevie Wonder, oh, no I'm not sure now, he's blind though in't he.......
JANET : Yeah, it was Stevie who was blind, but your right Lionels' girlfriend was blind in that vid.....what a bloody crap idea that was..........you can imagine old Lionel going up to his video producers and saying....(In a bad American accent) "Hey guys I've had this wild idea....listen up.....here's the angle on the love story.....we make her blind !
DAVE burst out laughing.
DAVE : Eeee Janet, you're a scream you are.........
JANET : But remember that sculpture she made of him.......Jesus Christ !
DAVE : Yeah it were the spit of 'im weren't it, how could a blind lass do that ?
JANET : Jesus....it's a bleeding good job she was blind, with a mug like his he'd never get the ladies !
They both scream with laughter.
DAVE : But it were the same with old Stevie.......he could do amazing things to say he were blind......(Sings and imitates Stevie Wonder) "Lately I've been looking in the mirror.... I mean, how could a blind bloke look in the mirror ?
JANET : Hey, that's a point ! It was probably a scam to sell more records....they'll do anything these days.......remember Cameo and is cod piece.....
DAVE : YEAH ! A was thinking about 'im t'other day. He'd have never got away with it if he were white ! Imagine a white geezer doing that.........he'd look a right nerd........a white geezer'd never pull it off, but Cameo were ace with that cod piece, the closest we whitey's got is Gary Glitter and look at the state of 'im...................I mean...........they're all ace those black lads...........you've got........Mikey, Smokey, Otis, Lionel, Stevie, Marv, Luther, K.C, Eddie............
JANET : Eddie who ?
DAVE : (Sings and does an impression of Eddie Grant) "A don't wanna dance, dance with yer baby no more, a never did sommert to 'urt you...but the feeling is bad....the feeling is bad.....
The camera pans away from JANET and DAVE.
TRICIA and EMMA
EMMA : It was really, really weird right.
TRICIA : Yeah
EMMA : I always had this thing about, when I was little, sleeping in my bed with the covers over my head cos I was scared the witches were gonna get me
TRICIA : Is this the dream ?
EMMA : It's sort of connected with the dream, cos this is what I used to do, I used to do that, and then I used to think there was witches in the cherry tree outside the house, and anyway the other night I dreamt...
TRICIA : You've got a cherry tree outside your house ?
EMMA : No, no, no at my Mum and Dad's house when I was little
TRICIA : Sorry, go on
EMMA : And so, I was in the bed and the witches came and they nailed down the duvet
TRICIA : Urghhh
EMMA : And I was trapped under the duvet, and they took the bed and I started flying through it and then suddenly I was free, but I was flying...
TRICIA : Did you see Bedknobs and Broomsticks when you were a kid ?
EMMA : Yeah I did,
TRICIA : Right, O.K
EMMA : So it's probably just that
TRICIA : Right, carry on
EMMA : And so I was flying about six feet above the air, just flying, and my mum was flying after me, but she wasn't really, you know how it looks like someone but you know it's not really them
TRICIA : And she wasn't the witch
EMMA : She was a witch
TRICIA : Oh, she was a witch
EMMA : But she was a witch in disguise as my mum
TRICIA : Oh, but she was on you're side
EMMA : And she has sort of glasses like that (Demonstrates) and she looked really sixties, and sort of like a C.I.A. agent, but she was a witch with a black bob, and she was flying after me, and she kept chasing me, and I just felt like everyone in the whole world was a witch and it was all an international conspiracy to trap me.
TRICIA : And these witches were all women ?
EMMA : There were all women
TRICIA : (Picks up the Dream Analysis book) Were they ugly women ?..Old women ? (Starts flicking through the book)
EMMA : No they weren't hag's or anything, they weren't traditional witches, but I knew they witches, and they all had really long nails............they had nails like painted black, like that, (Points at TRICIA'S nails which are painted black)
TRICIA : Oh.......and what colour hair did they have ?
EMMA : Well all sorts of different colours because they were trying to look like normal people
TRICIA : Oh, they were trying to look normal........
EMMA : Yeah
TRICIA : (Still consulting the book) Well, I can't help you cos we don't have witches, we don't have witches in the book, it's like a dream interpretations book, but witches don't count cos their not in the book. But I can tell you about dreaming about women.
EMMA : Well what does dreaming about women mean ?
TRICIA : Well, to see a women portends little differences
EMMA : Well, differences in what ?
TRICIA : Look don't knock it, cos it's....
EMMA : Alright, alright
TRICIA : Errrr.......(Reading the book) to see a woman...errrr...long hair, long hair they were long haired witches....
EMMA : (Looking over into the book) What's that about kissing women ?
TRICIA : Do you dream about kissing women ?
EMMA : No
TRICIA : Well why do you want to know if you don't ?
EMMA : Well.........just sometimes..
TRICIA : It means............ brings profit.
EMMA : So it doesn't mean I'm a lesbian if I dreamed about women ?
TRICIA : Well what sort of kisses are they ?
EMMA : I'm just...errr...
TRICIA : Are they embraces right, cos to embrace a woman presages quarrels
EMMA : But you could make alot of money out of it
TRICIA : What ?
EMMA : What, so if you kiss a women you get money...
TRICIA : Well if you do like...(Demonstrates by kissing EMMA on the cheek leaving a lipstick mark)...Oh sorry you've got a......mark on you're face...(Wipes it off)
EMMA : But if you go...(Rolls her tongue around her mouth)....kissing a bit tonguey, tonguey...
TRICIA : If you go a bit saucy, yeah I'm not gonna do that one, cos like, I'm just not like that, so you know.......but if you were into that business
EMMA : Yeah
TRICIA : That would mean that you were going to start to argue, but they say that lesbians are aggressive anyway so
EMMA : Do they ?
TRICIA : Yeah, so maybe it's best.......
EMMA : But I always think that sometimes you live out your fantasies in your dreams so that you can control them. It's like rape fantasies, you know what I mean ?
TRICIA : Yeah, yeah I'm well into that
EMMA : It doesn't mean that you want to be raped...
TRICIA : No, no...but it's what you're in control of.....
EMMA : Exactly it's a present threat all the time, it's there all the time oppressing us
TRICIA : Yes, like been chased
EMMA : Yes
TRICIA : Cos I have dreams about been chased by men
EMMA : Do you think that because I'm been chased by women that I'm empowering women, in some way.........maybe
TRICIA : Maybe, or maybe you don't want to be a lesbian, maybe you're fighting what you're true sexuality is.
EMMA : And running away from it
TRICIA : Saying no, no I don't wanna be a loser, I don't, go away losers, I don't wanna be one.
EMMA : Yeah, but really.........
TRICIA : Really (Consults the book) I just fancy a bit of a quarrel.....(they laugh)
At the side of the room a man approaches a red chair which has a small paper sign, similar to the ones on the tables, it reads ; DO NOT SIT HERE. He removes the paper and sits on the chair which collapses under him as it's made from paper.
The music suddenly starts to fade and the voice of a compare introduces the act.
VOICE : Ladies and Gentleman, The Hungry Brain is proud to present ......singing their brand new number - Schizophrenia ! Ladies and Gentlemen.....THE MODERN THINGS !!!!
A hush comes on the audience and the lights with the coloured bulbs become dimmer.
Mid-shot of the back of the room.
A small stage which is brightly lit from behind.
The backdrop is an opaque screen. Dry ice starts to seep from under the screen.
Silhouettes of peoples arms and hands moving appear on the screen. They are behind the screen. They look as if they are beckoning someone.
Suddenly there is a silhouette of a woman in the middle of the screen. Arms outstretched. We see her in profile as she blows away the hands as if they were feathers. She begins to sway.
As the music starts she begins to click her fingers in time.
The backdrop is lifted and the dry ice gushes out. A spot light illuminates the woman as she suddenly reaches up and falls down to a drum beat in the music. She moves forwards on the stage and walks in this doubled over position, clicking her fingers and gradually moving her torso to an upright position. We see it's ELENA. She's wearing a long, straight, black sleeveless dress, which has sequins around the top section. Her hair is piled up on top of her head with curls falling onto her face.
Of her fingers as she clicks them. We see her red false nails.
ELENA dances in synchronisation with the other dancers as she moves towards the middle of the stage. The music is very jazzy, with drums, saxophone and keyboard.
The other women dance behind her.
She moves towards the microphone which is at the front of the stage. At a certain moment she starts to sing.
She uses exaggerated facial expressions and body movements as she sings. She has a deep voice, and almost whispers the song. Now and again throughout the song she joins in with various dance steps.
CLOSE UP of her face.
LET ME TELL A STORY
'BOUT A GIRL I KNOW
SHE HEARD PEOPLE TALKING (She taps her head)
MADE HER FEEL REAL LOW
THEN SHE STARTED THINKING
WHAT THEY HAD TO SAY
IT WAS KINDA FUNNY
SO SHE SAID, "HEY STAY !"
THREEEE BECAME A FOURRRR AND THE FOUR TURNED TO MOOORE
BUT SHE COULDN'T HACK IT
SAID, "YOU'RE MAKING TOO MUCH RACKET !"
PEOPLE SAID, "IT'S SCARY."
EVEN HER FRIEND, MARY
SHE SAID, "HEY QUIET!"
THEY THOUGHT SHE SAID, "RIOT !"
IT ALL GOT TOO MUCH
THEY STARTED ASKING QUESTION
AND AFTER THAT MORE QUESTIONS
ONE SAID, "HEY, I'M MARTY"
THIS ONE LIKED TO PARTY
SHE SAID, "HEY QUIET !"
THEY THOUGHT SHE SAID. "RIOT !"
IT ALL GOT TOO MUCH
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO"
SHE SAID, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO."
I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO."
HE SAID, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO."
"MY GOD I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO."
SHE SAID, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO."
"I REALLY I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO."
THEY SAID, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO."
"I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO"
SHE SAID, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO"
HE SAID, " I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO"
"I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO"
"I - DON'T - KNOW - WHAT - TO - DO !"
She dances with the other dancers for the final bars of the song. The number ends with a final drum beat and the lights off.